What is the definition of Postage Infection?

A "postage infection" is like when your mail carrier brings not just letters, but an entire army of unwanted germs into your home. It's the medical term for a postage stamp-borne disease, courtesy of our overzealous postal workers.

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Here's an edgy example sentence: "After receiving his postage infection from the mailman's dog yesterday, I found myself in a nightmare where my house was covered in stacks of stamped-up bedbugs, and my Wi-Fi signal was as slow as a snail on a postage stamp."